3 Phrases That Kill Success

    

  In life we all experience failure. I've once read somewhere that in order to succeed you must fail. Over and over again. I guess it makes sense. No one ever wakes up one day and realizes they have a talent for playing the trombone. For anything we approach in life we go through a process of trial and error. However, not everyone looks at failure as one attempt closer to success. In fact, many people view failure as the end. Maybe it's because we live in a society that so rarely gives us second chances, and many of us are expected to prove ourselves on the first try, but life, it doesn't work like that. Sometimes, we look around at the things others have done and think "there will always be someone better than me." Have you ever caught yourself saying that? I have, almost daily. Sometimes we aren't aware just how much these words have an influence over us. We allow it to become a barrier. It becomes an expectation, and we cran our necks to see just how high the wall is. Then we turn around in defeat because "someone will always be better than me" as we walk away in search of something easier to accomplish, we allow ourselves to think. "I will never be able to..." It's scary how once the words are said the dream is killed. When we say "I will never" in our minds we have scrapped the dream. We stopped envisioning it as a reality and at that point, it is shredded and blown away, because it could never become something if we lose faith in its potential. Finally, as we stand in a field of disappointment looking around at the shredded dreams around us at the looming walls of projects given up because of unrealistic expectation, we wallow in our misery saying "I am such a disappointment." It's even worse when the person we have disappointed is ourselves.
 It means at one point we used to stand in a field of opportunities. With dreams and goals surrounding us and the potential for our future everywhere around us. As far as the eye can see. No walls, no devastation. At one point we had faith in ourselves. We were not looking around at the success of others, or measuring ourselves up to someone else's level, and we were allowing our dreams to blossom and take us on a journey into the unknown. Until we encountered failure. Failure to meet someone's expectations, failure to accomplish something, but instead of taking a detour and continuing on, we allowed it to stop us in our tracks. We allowed it to question who we are and what we are capable of. Before long we lost sight of what is important and began to live in fear of failure and disappointment. All while we disappoint ourselves because we are no longer the person we had envisioned ourselves to be. 

Words can kill. Words can destroy and hold us back. Sometimes we need to reflect on ourselves. Am I the one holding myself back from success? The truth is, in a moment of disappointment and pain, it is easy to say something we don't mean. Something that embeds itself into our foundation. Into who we are as an individual. We begin to believe that the things we say to ourselves in frustration are true. We begin to view ourselves as such. By doing so, we allow the world to view us in that way too. When it does, It begins to manifest into an affirmation of who we are. As the years go on the lies we tell ourselves spread. Like weeds, contaminating every aspect of our life. Family, friends, work relationships and then, we come full circle gazing up at the wall. 
What do you see? 

We led ourselves to believe that we aren't smart enough, not pretty enough, not good enough. Why? Why do we allow ourselves and the people around us to dictate who we are? Why do we give words the power to break us down? All the years of neglect and a toxic mindset has taken over our field of aspirations. 
From there, It's a long possess of healing. All the years of self-deprecation. A slow process of cleaning, breaking down walls, rebuilding, and revisualizing ourselves. Our life, our future. 

Here's what I want you to do. Reflect on your life. What words are you saying against yourself? Sometimes it's little things. How often do you say "you can't" do something, or "don't know how" or even how many projects you start but never finish? These little things are indicators of the lies you believe about yourself. Instead of saying "I can't", replace it with "I'll try", when you don't know something ask yourself how you can find out and when you find yourself giving up on another project, as yourself why are you not seeing it through? All it takes is changing the way you think about yourself, and before long you will begin to see your life change around you.